By Roxane Gay from NYT Business Day
That's generally a good guideline to follow when providing a reference for someone. If you don't have anything positive or constructive to say about an individual, it's usually best to decline being a reference for them. Providing a negative or unhelpful reference can potentially harm the person's chances of securing a job or opportunity.
When serving as a reference, your role is to provide an honest evaluation of the person's skills, qualifications, and character. If you genuinely believe that you cannot offer a positive perspective or meaningful insight into their abilities or suitability for a particular role, it's better to politely decline their request for a reference.
However, it's essential to handle such situations diplomatically. You can politely explain your reasons for declining without disclosing any negative opinions you may have. Focus on your own limitations, time constraints, or other commitments that prevent you from providing an accurate and thorough reference.
Remember, being honest and considerate is crucial when providing references, as your words can greatly impact someone's professional opportunities.